读后续写:我和小仓鼠的故事学案-高三英语写作专项

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2024年2月13日发(作者：)

阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。

It all started when my dad brought home a very big

surprise -which was actually a very little surprise. “Ta-da!”

he announced pulling a sheet off a cage, magician-style.

“Meet Mr. Nibbles!”

“A hamster (仓鼠)!” I cheered.

“He’s so cute,” said Tex. “Hello, Mr. Nibbles, I already

love you so much.” Tex whispered. Seeing how we reacted,

dad smiled, “Well, congratulations, Mr. Nibbles. You have

found yourself a new home!”

It took a few weeks for our fuzzy(毛茸茸的) friend to get

comfortable. At first he poked (探出) his head out of his

cage only to take a sip of water and fill his cheeks with food.

But once he got settled in, he was happy and playful. He

sometimes slid away from the cage, and even begged for

food, making a hissing(嘶嘶声的) sound as if saying thanks.

Having Mr. Nibble’s around made our summer much more

fun.

Before we knew it, it was time to go back to school. I was

excited to see friends I hadn’t seen in a really long time, but,

to be honest, I was also nervous about all the new stuff.

That’s why I made sure I was extra prepared. My plan was to

wake up early, put on my carefully laid-out clothes, can my

carefully chosen breakfast, and place my thought-out lunch

in my carefully arranged backpack Then I’d ride my

carefully cleaned bike to school and enter my brand-new

classroom. Hopefully preparing ahead of time could make

me feel calmer going into the back-to-school day!

Everything went according to plan -until, well, it didn’t.

My new teacher, Mr. Jax, who seemed very serious, started

out by going over the class rules. Then he asked each of us to

say a quick something about our summer vacation. Most kids

seemed pretty shy after being apart for a while and said only

a few words. Soon it would be my turn.

注意:

1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右;

2. 应使用5个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语;

3. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好;

4. 续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。

Paragraph 1

Suddenly I heard a familiar hissing sound coming from

my backpack.

Paragraph 2:

Now everybody was looking at me!

故事文本分析

1.故事大意:“我”的爸爸带了一只仓鼠回家帮他人照料，但“我”喜欢上了这只可爱的仓鼠。在“我”的恳求和承诺下，父母都答应了让“我”养这只仓鼠，而仓鼠也让“我”的暑假变得多姿多彩。开学的第一天“我”既兴奋又紧张。老师让每个同学发言分享暑期经历.快到“我”时“，我”突然听到熟悉的嘶嘶声从包里传来。

2.故事主题:

人与自然(人与动物的和谐相处)。

3.续写悬念:

发现仓鼠后“我”的内心经历了哪些波澜?老师和同学们对这个不速之客是什么态度?

语言点拨:

本文语言为叙事类语言，所给短文在心理描写和对话描写方面较为突出，如当“我”表达了对养仓鼠的渴望时，“Mom

and Dad exchanged looks and then Mom

said,'Well,Mr. Nibbles, you may have found

yourselfa newhome!"描写出了父母之间的默契，同时母

亲对仓鼠说:“你有新家了。Nibbles先生!”这也表现出了父母的俏皮和对孩子的爱。对仓鼠动作的细节描写也活灵活现，如“A first, he only poked his head out of his

nest area to take a sip of water and fill his cheeks

with food. "

翻译：

1.我拉开背包的拉链，很快又把它拉上拉链。

_______________________________

2.我的心开始跳动得超级快。

_______________________________

3.低沉而缓慢的呼吸，我开始和Nibbles先生谈论我的夏天，并解释发生的事。

_______________________________

4.他的话得到了同学们的欢呼和掌声。

_______________________________

5.我小心翼翼地从背包里掏出这个贪玩的小家伙。

_______________________________

6.所有的孩子都聚集在一起，抚摸着我们毛茸茸的朋友，有说有笑。

_______________________________

7.一开始，他只是把头从巢穴里探出来喝一口水，然后用食物填满他的脸颊。但一旦他安顿下来，他就变得快乐又贪玩。

_______________________________

8.贾克斯先生看起来很严肃，他一开始就仔细研究了课堂规则。

_______________________________

答案：

1.我拉开背包的拉链，很快又把它拉上拉链。

I unzipped my backpack-and very quickly zipped it

back up again.

2.我的心开始跳动得超级快。

My heart started beating super fast.

心跳得快也可以用race

Seeing you in that dress makes my heart race.《破产姐妹》

3.低沉而缓慢的呼吸，我开始和Nibbles先生谈论我的夏天，并解释发生的事。

Taking some low, slow breaths, I began to talk

about my summer with s and explained

what was going on.

4.他的话得到了同学们的欢呼和掌声。

His words were met with cheers and applause from

my classmates.

[·meet with：遇到，符合·暴力只会遭遇到更多暴力。Violence will only be met with more violence. | ·他的出现，赢得了大家的赞赏声。His appearance was met with a

sound of approval.]

5.我小心翼翼地从背包里掏出这个贪玩的小家伙。

Gingerly, I cupped the little playful creature out

of my backpack.

cup 在这句是动词： to hold something, making your

hands into a round shape（用手）做成杯状；窝起手掌托住，·例如·He cupped her face in his hands and

kissed her.他用手捧着她的脸，吻了她。]

6.所有的孩子都聚集在一起，抚摸着我们毛茸茸的朋友，有说有笑。

All kids gathered around, petting our fuzzy

friend, talking and laughing.

7.一开始，他只是把头从巢穴里探出来喝一口水，然后用食物填满他的脸颊。但一旦他安顿下来，他就变得快乐又贪玩。

At first, he only poked his head out of his nest area

to take a sip of water and fill his cheeks with

once he got settled in,he was happy and

playful.

8.贾克斯先生看起来很严肃，他一开始就仔细研究了课堂规则。

Mr. Jax who seemed very serious, started out by

going over the class rules.

【参考范文】

Suddenly I heard a familiar hissing

sound coming from my backpack. Was it

the sound of my hamster? I unzipped

my backpack-and very quickly zipped it

back up again. There he was! What if

he wasn't OK? What if I got into trouble when

teacher found out? My heart started beating

super fast. This was definitely not how my first day

back at school was supposed to go! Just then, Mr.

Jax asked me, "Arizona,it’s your turn. Would you

like to share?"

Now everybody was looking at me! Taking some

low, slow breaths, I began to talk about my summer

with s and explained what was

going on. After hearing me out,

said softly,"Why don't you introduce Mr. Nibbles to

us all?" His words were met

with cheers and applause from my

ly, I cupped the

little playful creature out of my backpack. All

kids gathered around, petting our fuzzy

friend, talking and laughing. That's

how my back-to-school day turned out.

译文：突然，我听到背包里传来一声熟悉的嘶嘶声。是我的仓鼠的声音吗？我拉开背包的拉链，很快又把它拉了回来。他就在那里！他怎么样了呢？如果老师发现的话，我会有麻烦吗？我的心开始跳得超级快。这绝对不是我回到学校的第一天应该的样子！就在这时，贾克斯先生问我：“亚利桑那州，轮到你了。你想分享吗？现在每个人都在看着我！低沉而缓慢的呼吸，我开始和Nibbles先生谈论我的夏天，并解释发生了什么。听到我的话后，贾克斯先生轻声道：“你为什么不把尼布尔斯先生介绍给我们大家呢？”他的话得到

了同学们的欢呼和掌声。我小心翼翼地从背包里掏出这个贪玩的小家伙。所有的孩子都聚集在一起，抚摸着我们毛茸茸的朋友，有说有笑的。这才是我回到学校的日子的样子。

【亮点评析】

该篇范文延续了原文的语言风格，情节续写合理, 内心活动和紧张和忧虑不安，描写得很真实。还有对 “我” 的动作描写“I unzipped my backpack and very quickly zipped

it back up again"把“我’的紧张和手足无措描写得十分生动。续写内容也应延续这种语言风格。第二段范文的精彩之处仍然在于情节的合理性,以及与前文风格的统一。在前文中,母亲直接与仓鼠对话,把他称为s，而在第二段中,老师仍然把仓鼠当成一个新朋友，对他说“ Don't

worry Mr Nibbles…”这个细节描写也体现了成年人对孩童世界的理解和对小动物的友好态度。

本文标签： 仓鼠续写描写语言开始