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首先我们来看以下范例。
The fear expressed by some teachers that students would not learn statistics well if they were permitted to use canned computer programs has not be realized in our experience. A careful monitoring of achievement levels before and after the introduction of computers in the teaching of our course revealed no appreciable change in students’ performances.
存在问题有:
1) long subject in first centence: main subject: fear subject: has not be realized, and also the second centence
2) boring verb: realize, reveal, while monitoring can be transformed to a verb instead
3) not not
4) hedge word: appreciable (questions?)
修改后的范例 Revised centence:
Many teachers feared that the use of canned computer programs would prevent student from learning statistics. We monitored student achievement levels before and after the introduction of computers in our course and found no detriments in performance.
范例2: Example 2:
There are multiple other mechanisms that are important, but most of them are suspected to only have a small impact or are only important because of the impact on one of the three primary mechanism.
1) NO there be. UNCESSARY
2) important?? 重要不是你说重要它就重要。是别的不重要,还是别的更重要?
3) most of them are suspected to? 作者不确定, 为什么不使用MAY or might
4) are important … have a small impact. why not play a small role?
5) are only important because of. boring and unnecessary, can use work by impacting …
更改后的句子
Multiple other mechanisms play only a small role or work by impacting one of the three primary mechanisms.
提示: TIPS:
1)Boring verb. The subject nouns and adverbs are often a good hint to get a strong verb to use. For example:
monitoring -> monitor
fear -> fear
approximately -> approximate
2) Eliminate the clutter.
As it is well known
As it has been shown
It can be regard that
It should be emphasized that
3) Eliminate empty worlds, such as important.
4) Eliminate unnecessary jargon. For example, everyone knows RNA, no need to abbreviate micro RNA as MR, but possible to say mRNA.
5) Use short word instead of long phrases. For example, use “if“ to replace “based on the assumption that”.
6) Eliminate repetitive word. An example: “successful solution”. Can a solution be unsuccessful? NO, so we can get rid of successful.
转载于:https://wwwblogs/Active-Learner/p/5409882.html
本文标签: 不必要Scientificwritegoodpaper
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